I’m officially on Team Viola. But that’s another story.

Tonight, I’ll liveblog the Academy Awards! I’m not one for award shows (VMA’s, Golden Globes, SAG, Grammy’s etc), but every once in a while, I’ll tune in and see what happens. I recognize that ‘The Academy’ has a history of snubbing more than deserving films, directors, and actors, but this year, I’ll bite.

You’re in for: snarky commentary, genuine insight,  predictions, and red carpet commentary, and hopefully useful implementation of my hard-earned college knowledge. Wha

6:44 pm: Just now tuning into the red carpet. Having “worked” the red carpet at the Tony Awards over the summer, it’s much more difficult than it appears, and about 10 times less glamorous than it appears. Unless, you know, you’re a professional say-nothing named Seacrest.

6:49 pm: Ok, I can’t. I just can’t. I’ll wait for the show. From a Communications and Mass Media Studies perspective (YEAH! COLLEGE MINORS, REMEMBER THOSE??), I’m wondering how effective advertisement will be for tonight. A not-so-subtle Goodyear blimp that reads “Live from the Red Carpet”  probably cost hundreds of thousands, and GY isn’t expecting an immediate surge in sales, but they had a salient advertisement and it was on screen for a bit over 15 seconds. Product placement win.

6:50 pm: A full trailer for Julia Roberts’ upcoming film Mirror Mirror looked divine. In the worst possible way.

I’ve got a fever…and the only prescription…is more tulle. Or taking off a few layers of petticoats. Whichever works.

8:08: As my friend Kristen Johnson pointed out, “The Oscars losing sound is not a good look”. For shame. Glen Close, a la 1987 would not  stand for this.

I will not be IGNORED, Oscars!!

8:30: Morgan Freeman on deck! He hasn’t aged since his Glory days.

Glory, pre-Blue Ivy Carter

9:08: I’m remembering why I don’t care for The Oscars.