Join me as I liveblog the series finale episode of Gossip Girl! After five years, countless headbands (don’t lie…), and over 100 episodes, the show that taught a public school generation about high society power grabs and super-rich-kid machiavellianism is neatly packing up its LV carry-on bag, and setting out for the wild unknown of 20-somethings in New York. In my experience, that “unknown” is the Irish Pub on W86th and Broadway. Yeah, the other side.
8:54: So…are we not gonna talk about Rufus and Lily’s lovechild ever? No? Ok.
9:06: Blair is engaged! In other news, python headbands are back.
9:11: Lily’s husband just died. Again. Her concern: planning the funeral! With an eyelash flutter, classic Lily.
9:28: Nothing good ever happens when the gang gets together!
9:29: Define “anti-climactic”: Chuck and Blair getting married at the Met. Lovely, but ‘eh’.
9:34: That Elle Saab is slaying the children.
9:39: Cameos, away! LOVING the old faces!
9:40: Meanwhile, Mayor Bloomberg…
9:40: So, this is life right now. Dan is Gossip Girl. Ok, so, let’s all take a collective breath, and remember this moment.
9:47: Only Serena can justify years of online bullying at the hands of lonelyboy a.k.a. Dan as a love letter. Stockholm, anyone? Anyone?
9:58: Brionna is not impressed.
10:03: Time has passed, and Gabby and I have hashed it out. Verdict: “meh.” I am thoroughly unimpressed, not sure where to direct my rage. Dorota looks like an easy target…
Gossip Girl has succeeded in revolutionizing nothing, save awesome TV music. The show has made, pumped out, and highlighted more indie bands and household-name artists than I care to count (also, that Channel Orange episode? BRILLIANT!), and my iTunes library will be forever grateful. Even so, the series finale went the way of St. Elsewhere and Full House in the last minutes, and I’m wondering which CW
intern employee has the great pleasure of reading through countless passive-aggressive tweets #gossipgirlfinale.